Bride Price or Dowry

Bride price or dowry has brought a lot of controversy among those who practice this old tradition and those who don’t. This is an act of giving some money or valuable goods and farm animals by a family of a groom to the family of the bride. There are a number of terms used such as lobola, mahari, mahadi, or wine-carrying to call this culture.

Some call this a token of appreciation for the bride’s family for raising their daughter. Some feel it leads to women being sold like goods and being abused. I personally don’t have strong views on this subject. It feels unfair for people who love each other to be denied being together because the man cannot afford to pay the dowry. At the same time embracing culture is such a beautiful thing.

We have seen the western cultures coming to the previously “strong cultured” communities. This has led to a number of other complications and maybe some positives. The west has arguably not very successful in “till death do us part” and this is creeping into the non-westernized communities. So can we say the bride price or dowry keeps marriages intact?

Definitely not. There is no single aspect of life that determines human behaviour. People without values, lobola or no lobola will continue to disrespect women. They will continue to abuse them and show them no love. There has been a question as to whether this practice still has space in the modern societies. I say it solely depends on the people concerned. If it does not kill I guess those who want to do it should suit themselves. The sad part would be the case whereby some are forced to practice it against their will.

With so many changes in lifestyle and mixed race/ culture marriages some of the old traditions do fall away. I suspect that this will be the case with the bride price or dowry some day. The new African generation may decide to elope or get married without their parents’ permission. There may not be room for lobola negotiations and the culture may just disappear. Currently there is no indication that the mahadi custom will ever leave the traditionalists.

If like me you are curious to find out how others think of the bride price or dowry, grab a book below. We always search for what will increase our knowledge. The best way to get value for your money is buying a used copy of a book.