Long Distance RelationshipsI have never been a fan of long distance relationships. I’ve been there, done that but I would not choose to do it again. However that does not mean it’s all that bad. It’s just not for everyone. Two of my friends met their husband on the internet and they are so in love and happy they did the distance or rather cyber thing. How brave, I say.
Come to think of it, in my teens I had a lot of cyber friends. We would email each other for months before we finally meet. I was a computer geek way then and I still am now. I liked my friends and my imagination did a lot of exercise but I never thought I would ever date someone I never saw. So I never so far.
A few Points of Caution :
1. Think carefully about getting in a long distance relationship before you get in. It may seem like love will conquer all whilst the truth is that “love is usually not enough”. Some manage to keep the fires of love burning, whilst most watch them burning out. Sometimes waiting until you are together works better.
2. It happens that one partner gets an opportunity of a lifetime, but the opportunity takes him/ her far from the other partner. Again, the opportunity may cost you the love of your life. An option would be to go together or forget about the opportunity. Setting priorities is quite important. 3. The long distance relationship survives when there is mutual trust. If you don’t trust your partner, it simply won’t work.
4. Use the channels of communication at your disposal to reach out to each other. Call, email, page, SMS and chat online as much as you can. Update each other of your daily activities and stay interested in each other’s lives.
5. Have some agreements beforehand. Sometimes we fail to communicate our feelings and work on expectations. This is very dangerous. Let your partner know what is expected of him/ her. Be clear in what you want. An example would be an agreement to call each other three times a week, send a number of emails during the day. All this makes life easier and especially in managing expectations. 6. Let your partner know what will happen if the agreement is breached. If there is unfaithfulness or one does not live up to their promise. Being in a long distance relationship is too strenuous for someone to get other disappointments. 7. Avoid opposite sex friendships. Some partners would be away from their partners and get too close to their opposite sex friends. There is nothing wrong with the friendships but your partner may not understand it or worse, the relationship may develop into something more than just a friendship. 8. Never let a day pass without you saying “I love you” to your partner. He/ she needs to hear it. 9. Hand written correspondence has a lot of significance. It just shows that you have walked an extra mile to communicate your feeling. Send a letter or hand drawn card. 10. Do as much of what you would do if you were together as possible. Order flowers online and send them to your partner. The internet has made a lot of things possible.
As for me, I would probably think hard before deciding on a long distance relationships. Some internet dating sites might not be reputable. This is what we found and together with Dr Phil liked:
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